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My Dad, Superman

momdadarmy1.jpgIf you know my Dad, you don’t really need an explanation for the title. ’nuff said. I was going to wait until Father’s Day to write this, but Dad just had hip replacement surgery and might be feeling discouraged because he can’t leap over tall buildings right now (at least in a single bound). We know you will be able to soon, Dad, because of who you are.

The picture shown is when my Dad was in the Army–he put himself through college through being in the ROTC. See the way my Mom’s looking at him, with love and admiration? Says it all. My Dad’s father spent time in Metropolis, Illinois, which is fitting, because my Dad really >is< Superman. Here are some of the amazing things he’s taught me, and continues to teach me.

1. Family comes first. Our family, like many others, has had its share of struggles, and we have stayed strong as a family through many ups and downs. This is because of Dad’s strength and the fact that he always put family first. Dad, I wouldn’t be where I am, happy and successful, if you hadn’t continually put us first in your life, and I hope you know that.

2. You can do anything, really. You may know that Dad built two of the houses we lived in, meanwhile supporting five kids. My Dad can build and do anything, I’m not kidding. We never hired a plumber, electrician, etc. that I can remember. I don’t think that any of us are as handy as he is–he always leaves us ‘gifts’ in our own houses that we are very grateful for. It really taught me a self-sufficiency that I’m sure has shaped me in many ways.

3. Find humor in all things. Dad has a spectacular sense of humor. He always keeps us on our toes with a quick wit. Laugh a lot and often, and it’s OK to recycle jokes if they’re good. (Side joke to sister Suzy: ‘Funny part’s when I fall!’)

4. Don’t ever cut across parking lots. It’s a good way to get into an accident! (OK, I don’t always follow this one, or his rule ‘Don’t do home improvement projects without shoes on’).

5. It’s OK to be sensitive. Dad probably doesn’t remember this, but I do. One day in church shortly after a family friend had died (Betty McIlnay, she had debilitating arthritis) the pastor announced it and I could tell my Dad was trying not to choke up. That little act made an impression on me. Dad is very sensitive and so am I, and it’s OK to be that way. Heaven help the person who wants either of us to do a eulogy!

6. Take care of your money, and it will take care of you. OK, this one I’m still trying to learn. I don’t know how Mom & Dad raised 5 kids on a single salary, and we still always seemed to live comfortably.

7. Clean your plate and don’t complain. Dad will eat just about anything (exception: yogurt). Mom’s a great cook, but over the years we’ve had a few culinary mishaps. The famous story is that when we were vacationing in Florida, he gladly ate spaghetti made with rubbing alcohol (don’t ask). Anyway, even though I don’t eat meat which can be a problem when people have me over for dinner, the sentiment should remain…be grateful for the food you have and the hospitality of the cook.

8. Find music you enjoy, and enjoy it. Dad loves bluegrass music. Although our musical tastes mostly differ, we have found some commonalities (and yes, I did have a ‘country’ phase). I saw the joy that music brought to my Dad and I’m sure it helped me to find my own taste in music. (Dad, I can’t wait to take you to the “Bluegrass brunch” we have at a local restaurant when you visit next).

9. Work to live, not vice versa. Dad worked a good job with reasonable hours, and we had dinner together every night at 5 p.m. I’m sure this was important in keeping our family strong. Goes along with #1.

10.  There is no other friend like Man’s Best Friend. Dad loves his dogs. From Edith (RIP), to Spike, to his kids’ dogs Oscar (RIP), Roger and Daphne, he takes excellent care of them all, and they all love him almost too much. I’m sure Spike is anxiously awaiting Dad’s recovery so they can enjoy their walks together again.

In summary, Dad, you’ve made it your top priority to take good care your family in every way, and taught us how to enjoy life and be successful, and you should be as proud of this as any of your other accomplishments. I think I can speak for all of us in the family in saying that you are our Superman. We love you very much and can’t wait for you to recover so that you can do all the things you enjoy. Does this mean you’ll be able to climb ladders again? I’ve got some roof work that needs to be done…lol…

Everything I need to know, I learned from Dear Old Mom

Mom and me 1969I saw that my friend Caron Golden wrote a wonderful piece about her mother that was picked up by the LA Times and I was inspired to do a similar piece on my Mom. Now, I don’t know if this will be picked up by one of the world’s leading papers, but my Mom does deserve equal attention!

Mom, you’ve taught me so much, here are some of the things that stand out.

1. Be charitable. Mom was always the first one to help out someone in need. For years, she would clean the house of a woman from our church who had debilitating arthritis. This was just one of the people Mom has given her time to throughout the years–others included my great Aunt Mimi and Uncle Eldon, friends who were struck with illness, and the African American family who got our old clothes. Granted, sometimes we kids were told that if we weren’t good our Christmas presents were going to go straight to the less fortunate, but I’m sure we deserved it.

2. Be considerate. Most of you know I’m a stickler for being on time. I think this comes from a desire to think often of how others will feel if I am late. The Golden Rule may be something I need to remind myself of often, as human nature sometimes fights it, but it was reinforced to me growing up enough that it is always there for guidance.

3. Be caring. Even though I’m now 41 (yikes), Mom is still the one I call when I get a proverbial boo boo. I try to do this with my family and friends, and I hope I am at least half as caring as my Mom is. When I’m taking care of my pets, or calling a friend/family member who’s sick or having a hard time, I’m sure I’m using what I learned from Mom.

4. Be appreciative. No matter what you buy for my Mom as a gift, she will act like it is the most unique, perfect, gift that she could have ever received. We make fun, a little (yes, everyone in my family has a similar sense of humor), saying we could give Mom just about anything and she’d ooh and aah. But we got the point. If someone goes to the trouble to buy you something, appreciate it–the person is putting themself ‘out there’ and why not tell them you like it, even if you don’t? (regifting is a whole ‘nother topic lol)

5.  Be a good listener. Mom has many…colorful and interesting friends. You know, the kind who call on the phone and can be heard by everyone else in the room? No offense to them, we loved growing up in a household where Mom’s friends’ visits were always interesting. Lots of great stories would always be told, and they would ‘howl’ with laughter as my Mom would say. I always remember Mom spending a lot of time listening to her friends, and being supportive, and I think it is really important.

6. Always ask people if they’ve lost weight.’nuff said.

7. Always make a big deal about peoples’ birthdays. OK, this one I could do a better job on, but I get it. Mom always made a really big deal about our birthdays, and I think it did a lot for our self esteem. Everyone wants to feel special. Everyone.

8. Take good care of yourself. Sometimes to my chagrin, when we were sick, Mom would make us stay home for what seemed like an eternity, until we got better. To this day, I ‘put the brakes on’ way early when I’m getting sick, and I try to take preventative measures with my health. Take good care of yourself, you deserve it, and nothing in the world should be as important to you as staying healthy.

9.  Never pass up a good garage sale. ’nuff said. Dad has learned to hit the gas pedal in anticipation of passing one.

10. Be creative. Mom is incredibly creative. Granted, sometimes we felt like  she went ‘over the top’ (the wallpapered refrigerator…the shower she painted bright orange) but I know that many holidays and meals were all the more special because of her ideas. In addition, I’m betting all of us kids were inspired in myriad ways by her creativity. I’m sure my career in marketing is no accident, where I need to be creative daily.

In summary? Mom, you are a wonderful person who has shaped my life in many ways and I love you very much! You have a lot to be proud of and I hope you have a great Mother’s Day!

Wot’s hapning 2 our langwej?

spellingbee.jpgIf you have known me for awhile, you’ll know I’m an impeccable speller. At least I used to be. Yes, I’ve lost some neurons and can’t always remember how to spell things, and have even caught the “I’m staring at this word thinking it looks really weird” bug every once in awhile. But something alarming has been happening to me lately. It started when I was trying to be ‘cool’ when IMing with my nieces and nephews…a ‘kewl’ here and a ‘wot’ there (and have even been known to speak a lil’ LOLspeak).

Then, I joined Twitter, exacerbating my penchant for creative spellings. Twitter is a way to communicate with your friends (and the world, if you like) via ‘Tweets’ which are 140 character descriptions of what you’re doing or what you want to share (their tagline used to be ‘It sounds like the most ridiculous thing until you try it.’) Anyway, Twitterers, as we like to be called, often have to shorten their words to fit a sentiment into 140 characters. This can be challenging, as you can imagine. So, for example, if I wanted to shorten the last two sentences, I’d do this: “Anyway, Twitterers, as we like 2 B called, often have 2 shorten words 2 fit sentiments into 140 char-This can B challnging, as u can imagine” 140 characters exactly, without losing (much) meaning. This is all well and good, but I get used to this, and my brain isn’t always sharp enough to turn this off when I’m sending email, ESPECIALLY to one of my twitter friends. I’ve been using ‘ur’ instead of ‘your’…’lol’ and emoticons interspersed…strong urge to use BTW…using too many ellipses…(notice that I also stopped putting spaces in my ellipses…the sign of a twitterer, always shortening).

My question is, will these shortened spellings become the norm? I know some people who do a spell check by entering the proposed spelling of a word into google (see ‘googlitis’ in the Sniglet 2.0 post). With Twitter updates being indexed by Google, does this mean our spelling will now be crowdsourced? In other words, will the spelling of words be dictated by how the majority of people are spelling them, and thus shortened/simplified? Or will we be saved by our auto-corrects and spell checkers, which will keep the ‘correct’ spelling of each word and keep us honest? Time will tell…will be interesting to see if our language evolves (or devolves ;).

Inspect-yer Gadget…Some Other Time

inspectorgadget.jpgMany of you know I’m the proud owner of a new Blackberry. I loves it. I am not ashamed to admit that I’ve taken it to the bathroom, to bed, and have learned how to walk down stairs while checking my messages. That being said, I am VERY careful not to be “that person” whose ADD/OCD is exacerbated by the idea that I “might at this moment be receiving an electronic message that I must know about!!!” What is it with these people who meet with you only to fiddle with their gadget the whole time? Didn’t anyone teach them how rude that is? It’s like when you’re checking out at a department store and the salesperson stops to answer the phone…like that person is more important than you, and you’re actually giving them business at that very moment!

Blackberries have recently gotten national attention since President Obama (I love saying that) has declared an addiction to his, prompting new policies for the Presiberry. My Dad and I both have Blackberries now, and have some fun sending each other messages. He likes to “one up” his friends with his high tech toys, and I’m betting they’re shopping for their own (better) gadgets now. My family, never missing a beat, chimed in, my Mom calling it a “Blueberry” and brother in law Vince saying his phone is so low tech that it’s a “No-berry.”

There are some instances where it’s acceptable to play with your gadget…I went to a Twitter meetup, or Tweetup, last night, and people were using their gadgets of choice to send Twitter messages to people they were looking for, or just reporting on the event & posting pics. But…many of these so-called “tweeps” are part of the new e-generation…will this obsession with gadgets subside or become the norm? Inquiring minds want to know…(reference which of course none of them will get). That email, tweet, or IM you’ve just received is probably not as important as making a connection with the person sitting across the table from you, so let it sit there for a bit.

Who Moved My Bread Machine?

rosie.jpgLately I’ve been really into eating more natural foods and less processed ones, and I recently started baking bread again. I don’t know if it’s the books I’ve been reading (Omnivore’s Dilemma, Animal Vegetable Miracle), my change of diet to vegan, the economy, or the fact that I’ve been working a lot from home, but I feel better, physically, cooking and eating more natural foods. Why eat more unprocessed foods? For one, they use less resources and contribute less to greenhouse gases. Also, if you start reading into what goes into processed foods…you’ll really try to limit them (because, in layman’s terms, it’s a bunch of crap). Additionally, a la books such as Fast Food Nation, if you do any investigating about the industrialization of animal farming in the US, you’ll quickly learn that animals are treated very poorly (there is no quick solution to this if you continue to eat meat, but eating less fast food will help).

There seems to be a national move in this direction to eat more simply, buy locally, and even grow food, driven by many factors, including the economy. In the depression, victory gardens were popular, and even promoted by then first lady Eleanor Roosevelt, who planted one on the white house grounds. There is currently a group that is trying to motivate the Obamas to do the same.

What’s with the title, you ask? Well, it’s a play on the business book Who Moved My Cheese, which deals with change in the business world. I’m fascinated with the change in my sentiment that caused me to obtain and get rid of my breadmaker in the 90’s, and now my return to it. How much is convenience worth to us, and how much depends on our surroundings? My parents lived through the depression and they are big on convenience, I think because when these items were introduced (e.g., paper plates) the alternatives were, well, very inconvenient. I see many of my generation going to great lengths to not use these items that helped make our childhoods easier for our parents. I even have a friend who never uses disposable plates at her parties…go Shawna! I think it is a natural progression as we have clearly gone from living in the land of plenty to really seeing how our choices impact our life on this planet.

Tying this all together…I started thinking about the image to use for this blog post and I got a little stumped. One of my google searches was something like “bread cartoon superhero” and Rosie the Riveter, an image that was used in the depression to motivate women to work in the WWII effort at home, came up (you can see from the wiki entry that I’m not correct in my name of the image–it actually refers to an older Norman Rockwell illustration). Anyway, I was immediately struck with the similarities between this image and the famous Obama artwork by Shepard Fairey that was used during the campaign, along with the messaging (yes we can). With some simple photoshopping (?) I transformed the original “Rosie” artwork into something somewhat similar to the iconic Obama work…and it turns out I’m not the first one to make this connection. I’m sure those of you who know art will say that there’s nothing really new, as all artists are influenced by others, as evidenced in this nice collection of Obama artwork. To me, it’s intriguing that history is repeating itself in several ways: economic outlook is grim, and we’re being asked to help by our soon-to-be leader using bold, inspirational artwork. How incredibly fitting that he represents change in so many ways, as I think we all need to break away from the conveniences that are taxing our planet.

My point? Some would say the beauty of self publishing is that you don’t have to have one. Another perk is that you can continually step up onto your soapbox and preach. Try eating more natural, unprocessed foods. Try subscribing to a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) farm. Try growing your own food (I haven’t, but vow to in ‘09). Heck, even try going vegetarian! How does this help the economy? Eating less processed, more locally grown food puts more money into your local economy, and less into factory farms that rely on low-paid workers using industrial practices to produce food which is shipped at great expense to the end consumer (and the money for the petroleum to ship the foods goes mostly overseas too). Being green often coincides with being thrifty, too–cooking at home is always cheaper than eating out.  Perhaps ‘09 will be the year we all learn to enjoy time with others, cooking and enjoying high-quality, simple foods, rather than ordering a pizza and running out to a movie…roll up your sleeves, we can do this.

Note: Some would say I’m not really giving up conveniences, since I’m not baking bread by hand..to you, I say that my Rosie is flipping you off.

Why Windows Vista + Office 2007 will turn you into a Mac user

msfail.jpg

OK, it’s no secret that I’m not a big fan of Microsoft Products. I went through a period where they seemed to be working for me (last half of 2004 lol) and I wasn’t as vociferous, but I feel as though I really need to warn people about Windows Vista and Office 2007. They give me daily fits and starts, and negatively affect the productivity of my business. Here are the top ten reasons why you’ll want to buy a Mac after using them, and computer maven Chris Pirillo is way ahead of me on this.

  1. Office 2007: The file formats for PowerPoint, Word, and Excel aren’t compatible with earlier versions of each program. So, EVERY time you send a file to a colleague, you have to know what version they have to know what file to send, and you’ll have to save two versions of the file if they don’t have 2007.
  2. Office 2007: They’ve changed ALL the menus very drastically, and used their own twisted logic to do so, not relying on the fact that we are all used to the old menus and their logic. For example, Page Layout has about half the printing options, and the other half are on some weird menu on the left side of the window, completely separate from all the other menus. You end up feeling like someone with no logic has rearranged your garage, and you can’t find any of your tools. Heaven help the person who tries to upgrade to 2007 and prepare a document without allocating twice the time they think they’ll need before a big deadline.
  3. Vista: They’ve dumbed down the file explorer windows. For some reason, they think the only thing people want to do with their computers is to view photos (the recent Mojave commercial confirms this–btw my 4 year old camera can create a panoramic photo), so all of my file folders are geared for that…I can’t see any file suffixes (.doc, .xls etc.) I’m sure there is a way to change it…but see my next item to see why this is problematic. You say “shouldn’t the colorful file icons point you in the right direction?” but look at #1 on this list…the Office 2007 files look almost identical to older versions of the files, and I’ve got a whole lot of these “duplicates” on my system. Why Microsoft software had so much potential for business, and now they are saying that your computer is simply a tool for manipulating photos, is beyond me. And btw, if this is your “position” as we say in marketing, I’m sorry to tell you that Macintosh computers are WAAAAAY better than you at things like this.
  4. Vista: Control panel has been dumbed down way too much. I can’t for the life of me find how to change things like the display, reproducibly. You can switch to the old control panel view, but for some reason this is still different, and I can’t find it.
  5. Vista: OS hangs and is too slow. Even though they’ve changed everything around to the point that you start to think that there must be some significant improvement in performance, the system is actually slower now. You often see programs hanging when you try to save files, etc. I estimate that Vista wastes about 20 minutes a day for me, translating to 3 weeks a year!!! I think they strove for an OS that looks good, making fancy icons for everything and making the borders of the windows partially transparent, and this slows things down. Kind of like a Corvair, looks nice but is unsafe at any speed. Microsoft, please don’t make us test drive your Corvair!
  6. Office 2007: They got rid of forms in Word. This used to be really cool, you could make a form that someone could fill out and print or send back to you. Don’t even try it with the new version–it’s a pain, doesn’t work 10% as well as the old forms, and put on top of that the different file formats, and that you can’t send a form to anyone without Office 2007, I can almost guarantee it will be a frustrating experience. Again, we’re assuming that the new file formats/back end will bring us BENEFITS not DETRIMENTS…please don’t treat the consumers as beta testers!
  7. Vista: They’ve set up ridiculous safeguards to combat malicious programs that end up actually interfering with your work. Every time I try to start an executable (e.g., install a program), the whole screen goes blank and it asks me if I really want to do it. It’s so dramatic that you think something is wrong (as we’re all hypersensitive to the blue screen of death with Windows). Meanwhile, the computer will sometimes REBOOT ITSELF WHEN PUT IN HIBERNATION!! Obviously I’m not OK’ing this action, even though I may lose documents in the process, but I have to OK everything else–makes no sense. Feel free to track my reboots via twitter.
  8. Office 2007: They’ve retrograded the html viewing in Outlook, causing anyone who sends html email to have problems, and also resulting in fewer features for the end user (e.g., any email that has anything more than just text). Why, why, why retrograde?
  9. Getting help in general: OK, like most people, I’ve learned that the best source of help (for Microsoft products, and in general) is to type questions directly into Google. This Microsoft help page for “wrapping text” in PowerPoint proves my point that their help is lame (and why on earth can’t PowerPoint truly wrap text around an image?). Anyway, since people are flocking AWAY from Vista and 2007, this means there is a paucity of help out there for those of us who are trapped. I’ve fallen into the Vista Vortex and I can’t get out!
  10. After all this time and advances in technology (my current computer has a ridiculous amount of memory, and is somehow slower than my old machine), there has GOT to be a better solution. Microsoft has fallen behind because they are the market leader, unfortunately, and I think this commercial says it all.

What is the better solution? Well, Macs now can run windows (XP!) AND their own OS, and they have a unix back end, which likely makes them more stable. I haven’t used a Mac in quite awhile, but I’m certainly looking into it more and more these days.

We all know what really happened at the end of the Windows Mojave Experiment. I feel like they’re trying to simultaneously dumb everything down, but expect us to be very technically savvy to deal with all of the problems that Vista and Office 2007 pose. Microsoft, stop treating us like “idiot savants” who will be oo’ed and ahh’d by the looks of Vista and Office 2007, and just come up with something that works, because we’re trying to do work here!

Story of Just One of the Many Families Affected by Prop. 8: Please Vote NO!

prop8pic.jpg

I was forwarded this email from a good friend, she got it from her cousin, the author, whose family is shown in the photo above. Please read the text from the email (below) and keep in mind as you decide what to vote on Prop. 8 (California measure to change the constitution and abolish same sex marriage). Please vote no on Prop. 8!

For weeks I’ve been struggling with my conflicted feelings towards my Mormon family and friends. As a young child I knew I was gay, I was also very active in the church. As an adult who has accepted himself and has tried to create his own loving family and support system, I have encountered a mixed bag from my Mormon Family and Friends; Love, support, derision, judgment, ostracization, rejection, understanding, for the most part I am now tolerated. Some of you even love and value me.

I’ve learned to be okay with this, leaving the church and being honest about who I have always been has cost me the family I thought I had and many relationships I had treasured.

Out in the world I have made new family members, I kept my dearest friends from my mission and from BYU, and I’ve never looked back or regretted my path. Eight years ago I met my husband Eric. He is better person by far than any I have met in my life time. One week before our daughter Talia was born, I had the privilege of marrying him in Canada. Since then we have been blessed with two more children; Finn & Lily. Our young family was not accidental or easy to come by.

Earlier this year the Californian Supreme Court finally came out with a decision that confirmed what should have been obvious. Treating Gays separately under the law amounts to discrimination and is direct conflict with our state and federal constitution. Eric and I married again this time legally in the U.S. in California on July 11th 2008.

Now we are equal with your families in this state, our children are protected, they can’t be denied insurance coverage, I can’t be denied spousal benefits, we can worry less about one of us dying, I can stop demeaning our relationship, our love, and our family by finally referring to “my Husband” not partner.

I thought I’d left the Mormon Church behind and was free to live my life. But now the church is directly attacking my family.

The yes on proposition 8 in California, 102 in AZ and 2 in Florida campaigns if successful will strip my family and others like us, of over 1300 basic rights and privileges that are bestowed by the state with legally recognized marriage.

OF the 28 million dollars raised to build discrimination permanently into our state constitution, 22 million has come from the Mormon Church and its members at the aggressive pressuring from its leadership.

This is wrong. I know so many gay Mormons, so many uncles, brothers, cousins, fathers, mothers who are gay who will be permanently hurt and marginalized even further by this. Even the church has recently come out and acknowledged that same sex attraction is innate and not a choice. You can look it up on the LDS website in a piece called “God Loveth his Children”

I’m not asking any of you to stop being Mormon, but please don’t support this attempt to build hate and discrimination into our constitution. That document is all that makes a difference between countries like ours and China or Iran. You can try to take away my rights, freedom and equality, you can strip my children of their basic protections and dignity, but it’s a start of an unraveling that will come to your own doorsteps. I beg you to consider these things and speak up for what is truly fair and right.

If Proposition 8 passes in California, My family won’t stop being a family, Eric and I won’t stop loving each other, our children and many like them will still go to school with your children, gay people won’t “choose to be straight” We will be however sitting ducks for a wide variety of discriminations. Eventually these bigoted unfair ideas will be seen by history for what they are; the rights and dignities of a powerless minority put up for a vote by a religious driven homophobic lynch mob.

Most of you can’t imagine the kind of pain one goes through when a learned core belief is in direct opposition to one’s core being as you grow up. But it is something every dedicated Mormon kid who happens to be gay, goes through. This scenario is repeated in other religions that demean their gay adherents and across societies that prey on their gay members throughout the globe. As a parent I would never want this for my children, but I won’t try to prevent it by asking my gay children to be straight or by denying them fair and equal treatment under our laws.

Try to place yourselves historically in every great move forward for freedom & civil rights. The thirteenth amendment to our constitution ended slavery, we fought for Women’s suffrage, interracial marriage, etc. What side of the fence would you have been on? It’s easy to think you would have been on the side of freedom and fairness, but most religions of the day vehemently opposed every one of these movements.

IF you read this far thank you. I hope you know plenty of gay people besides me and that you understand we don’t have a special agenda to convert people into becoming gay. The fear mongers want to depict us as sex crazed, dancing naked on floats, pedophiles, deviants, less than human, not your brothers, sisters, friends who struggle everyday to live decent lives like yourselves. We can certainly paint the straight community with broad strokes in a similar fashion but it’s not who I know all of you to be. We are people good and bad just like the rest of you, hopefully we all value freedom and fairness.

If any of you can do anything in any of these states to help stop these initiatives please act now! Polls show we are split evenly in California and every vote counts.

Sniglet 2.0

sniglet_1.jpgRemember Sniglets? Ahhh, the 80’s. Sniglets were invented by Rich Hall on Saturday Night Live, they are words that “aren’t in the dictionary, but should be.” I think that so-called neologism (fancy talk for making up words) has become more mainstream these days. Of course, it’s been around forever, that’s how languages are born and evolve, and one of the most famous neologists was William Shakespeare. Isn’t it funny to think that people who went to his plays were hearing some words for the first time, and they must have been thinking how weird they sounded, and now they are considered a standard part of our language (he coined “watchdog,” “eyeball,” “unreal”, for example)? There are also a host of other authors who were/are neologists.
Sometimes I find myself making a comment that Mimi from the past would have had no idea what Mimi from the future is saying. “I IM’d her and told her I’d be at the Meetup.” “I saw from her Facebook status that she’s out of town.” Here is some internet and 00’s culture-inspired neologism for you, a la Mimi (mimologism):

Sniglet 2.0 Definition Use in Sentence
ADID Attention Deficit Internet Disorder: an affliction whereby you cannot get a single task completed while at your computer, because your attention is divided between many different windows and tasks, and there are so many distractions available. “My ADID acted up a lot when I added that new application that showed a window every time I got a Twitter update, because I wanted to click on every update.”
pasteocampus The area in your brain that you use to remember what you most recently stored in your computer’s paste buffer. “Oops–that was the wrong link I just posted–thought it was the link for that funny Youtube video of dogs dancing. I need coffee, my pasteocampus must not be functioning properly.”
fishkatorian Easier to remember alternative for “pescetarian,” or someone who eats no meat other than fish. Especially useful for describing “exotic” diets to midwesterners. “Isn’t one of your friends a fishkatorian?” (actual quote from my Dad)
webcampose The instantly recognizable pose that results when someone takes their own picture from a web camera. Monitor glow on the face, outstretched arms framing the shot, and a messy bedroom in the background are also indicative of the pose. “Doesn’t that guy have any friends who can take pictures of him? I don’t think so, because his webcampose is really bad.”
internetcred The credibility that you gain on the internet, based on the quality of the items that you write or post. “He has no internetcred because he posts humorless jokes on Facebook all the time.”
postremorse The feeling of dread that comes when you realize you posted something in a public place that will offend someone you know, and you can’t delete it. “I really shouldn’t have posted that remark in Facebook about that party being boring, because I just remembered the host is one of my friends there. . . I have a lot of postremorse.”
googlitis The affliction whereby victims believe that all forms of information that are not on the internet are inferior and too much work to utilize. “Due to my googlitis, I searched for my neighbor’s phone number on the internet for 15 minutes before I remembered it’s written in my address book.”
silaclick The technique used to silently click a mouse’s button while talking on the phone so that the person on the other end doesn’t realize you’re doing things on your computer. “I discovered that my laptop’s built-in mouse is a good choice so that I can silaclick on my email while talking to people.”
palinfreude The paradoxically good feeling that you get pre-election, similar to the German term schadenfreude, when the political party you oppose does something really stupid during their campaign, so that your party will benefit. “I had a lot of anticipatory palinfreude before the vice presidential debate, because I was hoping Sarah Palin would say something stupid.”
paniclick The panicked mouse click you make on a weblink when you realized you just clicked on the wrong link, and you want to do it quickly before the wrong webpage loads. “When I perform a paniclick, I’m so good at it that I usually make it before the wrong page loads.”

You can also check out NetLingo, a website that lists new words created and used to describe the internet and its content. Feel free to list your Sniglet 2.0’s in the comments below!

Mimi’s Freakishly Easy Garlic Fries

OK, folks, it doesn’t get easier than this. Think you have to fry fries? WRONG! Cut up a small potato, in french fry-sized pieces (duh!), toss in a little olive oil and garlic seasoning (I used Mrs. Dash’s Garlic & Herb blend, I heart Mrs. Dash), and arrange in a single layer on a George Foreman grill. Grill for 10-15 minutes, or until they have brown grill marks and a fork penetrates the fries easily (test one if you have any doubt–be careful not to burn your mouth). Let them cool for at least 5 minutes, and that’s it. I like them this way, but others have suggested cooking them a lot longer. I have undercooked potatoes many many times, but rarely on a Geo. Foreman grill, so this recipe rocks. So, there you have it, effortlessly easy–wish I had this recipe in college! And, well, a George Foreman grill–all i had was a hotplate for soup and mac-n-cheese. And the number for the local pizza joint. This serves one, but I’m sure if you have a big fancy GF grill that you can make lots more.

You know you’ve been working at home too long when . . .

Office sweet OfficeMost of you know I’ve been working from home since March. Now, starting a business has kept me busy, but I’m sure you’ve noticed I have had more time to do things like post videos on Facebook, etc. Working from home does change your state of mind, here’s how you know it has affected you a bit too much:

  1. You’re not sure whether you still fit into most of your nice clothes, as you spend most days in Tshirts and shorts (I have even considered several times buying “dress sweats”).
  2. When you do go out “all gussied up,” you make a point to run all your errands so that people can see your attire and think you have a “real” job.
  3. Things that are used to make you look and smell nice that used to be “necessities” become “accessories,” used only on those special occasions where you see other people.
  4. You’ve not only played “hide and seek” with your pet, but they are growing tired of playing with you, and know all of your hiding spots.
  5. It seems as though your neighbors are CONSTANTLY making noise: mowing their lawn, vacuuming their car.
  6. You worry that you are becoming one of those people who forwards “funny” emails uncontrollably, and you spend WAY too much time on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Netflix (they have a friend feature), anywhere that you can get some social contact. (I even joined Second Life recently, but decided that is a bit too out there for me (someone did tell me it has a lot of potential for business)).
  7. You IM anyone that contacts you with great enthusiasm, keeping them “on the line” too long, making them start to feel a little uncomfortable.
  8. Your comments to your pet become more like discussions, and you basically ask their opinion on things and tell them what you’re doing all day (cut to Roger reading marketing copy).
  9. You have a tan, and you didn’t even really try to get it (OK, I am never really “tan”, but I am a darker shade of pale right now).
  10. You have learned a few things the hard way:
    1. Under no circumstances should you drink a beer before 5 p.m.
    2. You shouldn’t work with your laptop on the couch, no matter how appealing it is (good way to throw out your back).
  11. You can’t remember the last time you worked a Friday afternoon, or the last time you didn’t work on a weekday night.
  12. You’re pretty sure you won’t be able to get through a day without a nap ever again.

This phenomenon of going a bit wiggy when working from home is addressed by these new office spaces that allow you to come in and interact with others (in Seattle, not surprisingly). I do like what I do, and talk on the phone, meet, or IM with people all the time, so it’s really not too bad. I really do meet quite a diverse group of people with my new co., it’s much better than being in a stale office all day with the likes of Lumbergh. In addition, it is nice to hear the birds all day (over my neighbors–they’re really not that bad) and to be a little more in touch with nature. I drive a lot less too, to the point that my battery went dead this week (interesting to jump start a Prius). I don’t know what my dog will ever do if I go back to an office job . . . he has separation anxiety and is getting very used to me being here. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it!